hi, again..

so hi, again.
this is my ego speaking. i repeat. my ego speaking.

i think i have some kinda, like, the other side of me, erm, the evil side of me keeps on thinking how i don't like to see people i know happy. some of them. SOME of them.

yes. i hate to see them happy.

why? well, that's a question.
hell i dont know why. the other part of me keeps on saying not to but i just cant.

is it some kinda envious? i'm not sure. but i am happy. in some things, i am more happy.
some kinda revenge or stuff? they don't do me harm. why should i?

i am no psychopath.
i am a real nice girl. go see me in real life. you'll see.
so i am asking to myself. or even to you.
is it quite normal to be like who i am right now? cus i keep on wondering.

and sometimes i just can't help it to post this such crap.

i wanna grow old with you.

sparks.

so this is goodbye..

wise words of the day.

"you will never know who or what comes over you up next. you just can't figure. don't fall asleep. anything could happen unexpectedly."

ps: i am no good with photoshop. i know.

never enough.

so here we are
ive seen this place before
you look at me as though im incomplete
how could i offer more?

and how, how
could i ever be enough for you
ever be enough for you
its never enough for you.

-8mm-

it's good to be in love.

still trying not to fly too high.
i know how it feels to crash down from such height.

whoops. can't help it.

sorry for the massive updates lately.
can't help myself doing it all the time when i find anything interesting enuff to post.

i thought this movie is a total sass. until this afternoon, i switched on star movie and caught this movie on screen. BECOMING JANE!

must say, i'm a huge fan of romantic movies. i even can spend my most day watching it with kleenex and snacks. so yeah, this movie, becoming jane, is currently the most emotional movie i've seen so far (beside closer, of course). and it sucks to cry all the time everytime i watch it, but, eh, i just can't help it to see it over and over again!

so here are the sweet sweetest scene in the movie. kleenex everyone!


so here is the part where they finally kissed and tom lefroy said how he's really in love with jane austen though he didn't have anything to give. (well, you know, money and all that wealth things are the most important things when you want to marry someone, back at that time).


and then... they broke up, for some reasons. lived their own lives, jane herself, had engaged to a young gentle aristocrat, and so did tom. he was engaged with someone from his country. but suddenly lefroy came to her town, just to say that he couldn't live without her and asked her to run away with him, although they, both, were engaged to someone they didn't love.

sounds gay? sorry.
but yeah.. go get the dvd. it's really worth to watch.

all of a sudden i miss everyone..

everyone moves so fast. and me?
im still here.

new sentimentality

this is my sweet thing's band. flapjack.
(do check 'em out at myspace.com/flapjacked)

on this video, you'll see them covering 'new sentimentality' from toe, an instumental, math-rock, or somewhat japanese band. it's pretty cool actually. knew it first from my boyfriend (well, he's really into this somekind of music) and loved it!

taken from youtube, so yeah, enjoy.


and that's the sweet things in the front ;p

this is padang, today.

FULL VIEW RECOMMENDED

went to padang last friday to check things out after the massive earthquake (magnitude 7,6 on richter scale). well, it was really cool to see like, tons of rescuer from all over the world workin' their ass off together to help and rescue the victims, really appreciate them, thumbs up! ;)

however cool it was, its still killing me to see how people suffer. and to go there, it made me to be more grateful person that i am much much luckier than they are. like, i can eat anything i want, i have a warm home sweet home with nice comfy bed and a happy family, while they don't. it's just killing me.

so yeah, i brought you pictures to post. gonna be boring to see if you're not interested.
and so far, this is padang.

welcome to padang!



and.. this little guy over here is beni. he hardly could say his name that he could only say 'teni'.
he helps his parents to break stuffs so they could move stuffs.

how lucky we are..

the getaway

i wish this cab won't take me so far away from you..

airport rush.

walking barefoot.

but i'm okay.

i am on the edge of breaking down.
this is depressing. but oh i am okay. you are just jealous.

remembering the legend.

"Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpletion who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. i feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for freddy mercury, who seemed to love it, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something i totally admire and envy. The fact is, i can't fool you, any of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime i can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as is i'm having 100% fun. Sometimes i feel as if i should have a punch-in time clock before i walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and i do, god believe me i do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that i and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm i once had as a child. On our last 3 tours, i've had a much better appreciation for all the people i've known personally and as fans of our music, but i still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy i have for everyone. There's good in all of us and i think i simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, pisces, jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i use to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point where i can barely function. I can't stand the thought of frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that i've become. I have it good, very good, and i'm grateful, but since the age of seven, i've become hateful to all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because i love and feel sorry for people too much i guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out then to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy kurt cobain.
frances and courtney, i'll be at your altar. please keep going courtney, for frances. for her life, which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!"

thank you, kurt. for the love buzz you've shared with the world.

1967-1994

boys.

you don't have any idea how i love boys with wistful eyes.

michael pitt; kurt cobain

THUMBS UP

coldplay's one of the best live performance.
me and my boyfriend watched this on mtv world stage last friday and it was friggin awesome!!

lovers in japan - coldplay

meet my friend.

this is maya.

and she can't count.